Day 2 of 30 days of self-exploration through D/s
If you would have asked me a decade ago what submission meant or was, I would have simply answered serving another, or giving up control to another person. While yes, that is part of submission, it has since taken on so much more. Submission involves an innate desire to be taken care of, supported, molded, and in an ever-evolving state of improvement. Submission is best embrace when there is a trusting guide, usually a Dominant, to take the responsibility of the lessons that need to be learned. However, submission can and does occur in every day social circles where people may not recognize what it represents. Submission can take on forms such as helping; nurses, doctors, mental health practitioners for example, or service; customer service, creators, artists, and even police officers, firefighters and emts. Many professions can fulfill a submissive desire if one is open-minded enough to search it out.
In a relationship, submission can also take many forms. For me personally, I am mostly a sexual submissive in my primary relationship. Therefore, my SO (D in training) takes on leadership and control in sexual situations. However, there are times when he can remind me of my submission in simple, yet effective, ways. Just the other day we spoke about a common gesture that he does without thinking that puts me in a submissive headspace nearly immediately. Whenever I am driving and he is in the passenger seat of the car, he tends to grab the back of my neck. Sometimes it just sits there, while other times he may massage or squeeze gently. In the instances when we are alone, it works very quickly. However, I realized only recently that it does not have the same effect when any of our children are in the car with us. I choose to compartmentalize my submission. And while I embody many submissive mannerisms around my children, such as taking care of them, or helping them in some way, I just do not feel the same way, so for me it is different enough. I am always searching for ways to expand my submission. This blog/website is part of that desire.
There also does NOT exist one type of submissive, as I have met and talked to individuals from many different backgrounds and personalities that embrace submission as a large part of their identity. For me though there seems to be a few constants. First, being an underlying need for at least one deep connection. Some submissives may take time to trust another, but once they do, that trust goes to the core of their being. Another unfortunate, but seemingly universal trait is self-deprecation in some form. I do not mean this in a bad way, but all submissives I have spoken with are just too hard on themselves, myself included. Sure, I try to be self-confident and fight what I refer to as my mental demons, but most individuals have that nagging voice of doubt, somewhere. Except maybe psychopathic and narcissistic individuals, but that is a whole other issue.
What other ways do you define submission? Are there universal traits to submissives? What do you think?
The topic for this post was provided as part of LovingBDSM’s 30 days of D/s, which can be found here. if you would like to join in, check them out. If not, still check them out, they are great people doing great things for the D/s Community and so much more.
As always, thanks for stopping by – raxleanne