Our D/s Dynamic
Day 30 of 30 days of self-exploration through D/s
All D/s dynamics are not created equal, nor should they be. In short, they should reflect the personalities, needs, and choices of those involved. Our D/s is very much ours and is growing and changing all the time. Partly due to the newness of D/s, for my partner, but also because any successful D/s relationship should never remain stagnant for too long. Do not get me wrong, are their comforts and rituals that will enter a relationship and stand the test of time? Absolutely! However, a big part of D/s is the ever evolving and emerging confidence in each other. As trust grows, so should the depth of D/s.
As I have said a few times over the last month, my partner is very, very new to all thinks kinky. Sure, he knew that it existed, he is not an island and has his share of fantasies. However, I think in large part due to the stereotypes that are placed on men and particularly Dominant men, he never saw himself as “the type.” So, for now, most of our D/s interactions involve learning, learning what D/s means for us, how we want to integrate different aspects of D/s throughout our already established relationship, and honestly – just having fun with it.
I am enjoying seeing his excitement when I tell him what I would love for him to do to me or take for himself. One aspect of D/s that has seemed to easily catch on for us is me asking him for things, particularly of a sexual nature, as that is where our D/s (for now) resides. I get very excited as I carefully word and edit a text message during the day while he is at work. Carefully timing the send to coordinate with a time that I know he will not be able to read it immediately, as to delay my own gratification at his inevitable sexy and hot respond. I have always been able to ‘paint a picture’ so to speak in very few words but in a way that often gets me the reaction I am looking for.
Another aspect of D/s that is leeching out into many other areas of our relationship is the commitment to communication. We did an ok job of communicating before going D/s, but it was not the priority that it is today. I often find myself smiling throughout the day when I think about our conversations. We have made our connection a priority for the first time in our relationship and so far, it seems to be working wonders. D/s will not fix something that is broken, but it will enrich something with a good foundation.
As always – thanks for stopping by and be sure to check out my other posts, you can also follow me on Twitter and Instagram @raxleanne
The topic for this post was provided as part of LovingBDSM’s 30 days of D/s, which can be found here. if you would like to join in, check them out. If not, still check them out, they are great people doing great things for the D/s Community and so much more.