I grew up hearing the old saying “Don’t go to bed angry.” And somewhere between then and now, I gave up on the expectation that every problem can be resolved before your head hits the pillow.
Sex drops down the list of priorities when a relationship is in trouble
I can’t be the only one who does not feel the least bit sexy when frustrations in my relationship cause tension throughout the day. And when disagreement and stress lasts more than a day or two, sex is the furthest thing from my mind.
I still have desires and fantasies, don’t get me wrong. However, I can’t help but think that my partner, and definitely previous partners take having sex as a sign that everything is just fine. Am I wrong? So, I don’t engage in sex when there are issues outside the bedroom left unresolved.
I end up being the Bitch
Some people have called me a bitch, claiming I use sex as a way to control my partner, or get them to do what I want. And maybe that is true. BUT, I have a hard time compartmentalizing my sexual feelings and my other thoughts. So when the days are filled with negative energy, for whatever reason. I can’t just shut it off and get turned on, or at least I don’t want to.
Yes, I know, communication is the key to a long and happy relationship. I can here Kayla Lords saying it over and over again in my head. Communication should definitely be the cornerstone of any D/s relationship. But let’s face it, sometimes real life gets in the way of any type of kinky fun.
Time to put up or shut up
So I have come to a crossroads. The most recent issues seem to continue as unresolved. I am just not ready to move on and accept defeat and no reasonable compromise seems in site. I am not sure what this means for my relationship as a whole, but I do know that the power exchange that was part of our D/s will need some renegotiation.
Well thanks for listening to my tattered ramblings… and don’t worry, I’ll keep you posted.