Titles are one of those things in D/s, or even BDSM, that can be either/both positive and negative. Generally, I have a strong disdain for labels of any type. Titles and labels give others a way of fitting someone into a preconceived mold of how they think they should appear, behave, or even what people they should then be partnered with. If I was forced to pick one title to express myself at this point in my life, the simplest is submissive. However, I also have switch behaviors, most typically I would be classified as a bottom, and I also have a few babygirl tendencies that will crop up from time to time. I am a masochist, though some may consider me masochist-lite due to my preference against some of the more severe aspects of impact play. In the past, I did embrace the titles pet, baby, and little, though they just do not fit me these days.
Titles/labels for my partners have changed over the years as well. My first recognizable D/s (refer to Where it all began… for earlier experiences) was simple. It was his desire that he be called Sir, and I obliged, however, my title was usually woman. He took on the more domineering role that many associate with dominance, thanks to porn and media. Another relationship was mostly long distance, from the beginning he wanted me to call him Master, but never really gave me a title, he was focused on my use of ‘yes, Master’ or ‘what ever you wish, Master’. Looking back now, I can see how I was subjugated, and not completely honored.
Fast forward to my current relationship, we have not really discussed labels or titles. In the most D/s moments, he will use terms like ‘mine’, and it just makes me melt. I have concluded that titles and labels may help to explain to someone a side of my personality, so that is really the only time I use them beyond sub/submissive, and Dom/Dominant for my partner.
What titles/labels do you/have you used? Are there ones that you dislike or stay away from?
Admittedly, I was leery of the title Daddy, until recently. Though it is still not one I could see myself using, I have a better understanding of the Daddy/Caregiver personality. Thanks mostly to John Brownstone and Kayla Lords over at LovingBDSM. They have taught me how different a Daddy Dom can be to my own preconceived notions in the past. Also, they are who to thing for this topic… help me give them a thumbs up by checking them out!!