Not your teacher’s Apple


Years ago when I discovered kink and BDSM, a friend suggested that I chose a safeword. One that would be completely unrelated to anything sexual, but one that I would be sure to remember. This was well before the online kink community that exists now and while I was able to do a little research, there were really no suggestions for Safewords, just the same advice my friend had offered. One I could remember…. until I couldn’t remember it.

I have always been more than willing to push sexual boundaries. I used to ignorantly say that I would try anything once (never say that to a sadistic Dominant BTW). However in trying to push my personal limits I found my own masochistic side. The conundrum, when I push those boundaries I tend to skyrocket into subspace. Subspace is that magical existence when you feel like you are floating between fantasy and reality. And let me tell you apples are the furthest thing from your mind. So there I was floating on endorphins induced by erotic asphyxiation when I begin to feel myself go. There is a subtle moment just before passing out of immense clarity for me, but the problem is I am unable to speak. So fuck the apples.

It was obvious there was a communication breakdown. That Dominant had significantly more experience than I, but it did not stop me from overreacting thanks to my over-analytical anxious brain. I pulled away from pushing those boundaries for a long time, mostly out of fear. That play partner and I quickly grew distant.

When I decided to venture back into D/s, I knew I needed to have a better system of communication. Furthermore, as someone who enjoys breath play I knew verbal communication would not always work. Enter the hackey sack. For those that do not know what they are, a hackey sack is a small knitted ball loosely filled with rice or tiny beads used in a weird kicking game similar to how a single person will kick up a soccer ball repeatedly.

Anyhow, the plan was for me to hold onto the hackey sack. If it fell from my hand, or I dropped it intentionally, all play stopped. After a few trial runs (prior to approaching a hard limit) the hackey sack seemed to work. BUT, in situations where I still had my voice, I still had no need for fucking apples. What now? I went through a few other suggestions of people I knew before I stubbled on the light system. Green light, yellow light, and red light; the common street light signals that most people are familiar with. And red being the universal sign for STOP made complete sense. Why did it take so long to occur to me? I have no idea. I was young and more than a little kink sheltered.

In my current dynamic we have discussed the light system, though I have yet to have any need to use even yellow. And my submissive heart craves the day that he gets the courage to whisper, “Give me a color.”

This post has been included as part of the following meme, for more Tell Me About Dominance and Submission posts, just click below.

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: , ,

KOTW – Hidden Ownership


Love bites or hickeys, those secret little (or not so little) gems from the carefree days of being a teen, making out with my lover in the backseat of my car before parting for the evening. As a teenager, they seemed so silly, so taboo. However, I could not wait to show them off to my girlfriends on Monday at school. Oh how times have changed!!

These days these little badges of honor take on an entirely different meaning. Gone are the days of purposeful vacuum-like sucking trying to get the deepest darkest bruise. Now the bites are the result of true lust and debauchery. The marks left behind by my dominant as he inhales my large mounded breasts, making sure to cover every inch in powerful, possessive suckling.

The surprising marks found the next day are perhaps my favorite. As I lazily caress my body in the shower, reminiscing in his every touch, landing on a tender inflammation of the skin, perhaps on my inner thigh, or just next to my left, most sensitive, nipple. The slight pain that brings me right back to the moment of ecstasy as he fed off my body as if drowning and my skin is the only thing keeping him afloat.

When I find these reminders, the young teen inside giggles, while the woman I have become stands a little straighter, proud that this man has bestowed his mark on me. The outside world doesn’t need to know our secret. Much like the familiar smell he makes a point to wear with him to work after a night of lust. HIS marks are my hidden reminder of who I belong to, who I owe my pleasure to, and hopefully who will bring me untold pleasures again very soon. I love my marks!!

This has been my first addition to Kink of the Week, I hope you find it entertaining and perhaps a little titillating. I can’t wait for the next round of kink. Be sure to take the time to check out other posts by clicking below.

As always thanks for stopping by… follow me on Twitter @raxleanne and feel free to drop me a line. I love hearing from fellow kinksters.

Categories: KOTW - Kink of the Week Tags: , ,

Kink with a Full House

No Comments

Day 23 of 30 days of self-exploration through D/s

The original topic for today was supposed to be Drop. However, after what’s been going on the last couple of days, that’ll have to be another day… but I think this is still part of understanding our new D/s dynamic. 

For the first time in quite some time, we have a house full.  And I do mean full.  My mother, my two daughters, my son-in-law (almost), two grandchildren – and of course me and my D.  So tonight, every available bed-like surface will be utilized, and I am starting to feel a little claustrophobic.    Yesterday we worked hard on some of our remodel mess and went to bed quite early.  Kinky fuckery was the farthest thing from my mind when I my head hit the pillow. 

Since taking our relationship toward D/s, we try to connect in some way every day.  Sometimes it is solely sexual, other times it is gestures, even glances.  We have not implemented any specific protocols; mostly because we have not found any that fit us. 

Sneaking in some Kink

My D had to work today, which as usual means he is up and out of the house by 6am, and I am usually still asleep (not a morning person here).  Not this morning though!  For whatever reason, when he woke around 5am, it stirred me… in all kinds of ways.  It was a combination of his smell, the lack of contact the night before and … probably just my nature.  I snuggled into him, suckled my way down to his cock and tasted what I had desperately missed.  Hearing his hushed moans pleased that side of me that wants to give him all the pleasure I can.  When he reached to grab my ass, I was undone, he has learned recently that I love it when he plays with my ass.  It wasn’t too long before he threw me over on my back and took my wet pussy with his rock-hard cock.  He took all he wanted until on his signal we both climaxed together.  It was so hard to stifle that scream of pleasure. 

It was short, anything but sweet, but what we both really needed.  And … he went to work smelling like our union, which is such an amazing turn on.

The Result…

I was able to fall into a deep relaxed sleep having connected, having offered myself, pleasing my D is the best way to relax.  Messages throughout the day reminded me of our power exchange and how into it he is.

Making me – a very happy submissive 😉

As always – thanks for stopping by – raxleanne


The post is part of an ongoing series found on LovingBDSM’s 30 days of D/s, which can be found here.  if you would like to join in, check them out.  If not, still check them out, they are great people doing great things for the D/s Community and so much more.

Loving BDSM 30 Days of D/s
Categories: 30 days of discovery Tags: , ,

Where it all began…

No Comments

Journey back with me … almost 18 years old and I met a man, significantly older than I, while working at McDonald’s of all places. The way he spoke to me, sent shocks down to my core. My inexperienced immature mind had no idea what it meant. Over the course of a couple weeks, as my birthday approached, he made simple comments that I found myself spending hours upon hours hitting repeat in my head. With less than a week left til the big day, he walked straight up to me and asked me if I wanted to know how a woman is supposed to feel!! Stunned silent, I know I turned 10 shades of red, I retreated into my work and tried to avoid his glances as he ate his damn Big Mac, minus pickle and onion (24 years later and I can still remember that geez!)

Read more…