Rules in D/s

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Day 14 of 30 days of self-exploration through D/s

Rules smules… This is by far the hardest part of D/s for me.  In a “typical” D/s (or how I envision it) the Dominant partner sets particular rules that the submissive must then abide by (consensually of course).  The rules are often incorporated during negotiations and sometimes have specific goals in mind.  Other times, the rules may just be in place at the pleasure of the Dominant. 

Personal History

In a previous D/s relationship, I was expected to send messages with pictures at specific times throughout the day.  If I neglected, or simply forgot, then there would be consequences.  I despise punishment in any form, so I rarely strayed from the rules.  However, when I did, the feeling that I had disappointed my Dominant always outweighed whatever punishment was set forth.

New D/s relationship

In my current dynamic, since we are still very new to D/s and going slowly, there are few set rules.  This is further complicated by our outside vanilla influences such as children, work, school, etc.  The interesting thing is that I find myself yearning for more rules.  I wonder to myself if the act of implementing rules would make me feel more submissive.  It is worth a conversation.  Which is why this 30-days-of-discovery is so amazing.  I’ll have to update this if things change after the fact, hehe.

In closing, I will remind you that there are no set, hard-fast rules about rules.  They are as individualized as the persons involved in a relationship.  And they can, often do, and should change over time. 

Comment down below with some rule ideas.  Do you like the rules? Are there other rules you desire?

As always – thanks for stopping by – raxleanne


The topic for this post was provided as part of LovingBDSM’s 30 days of D/s, which can be found here.  if you would like to join in, check them out.  If not, still check them out, they are great people doing great things for the D/s Community and so much more.

Loving BDSM 30 Days of D/s