Day 2 of 30 days of self-exploration through D/s
If you would have asked me a decade ago what submission meant or was, I would have simply answered serving another, or giving up control to another person. While yes, that is part of submission, it has since taken on so much more. Submission involves an innate desire to be taken care of, supported, molded, and in an ever-evolving state of improvement. Submission is best embrace when there is a trusting guide, usually a Dominant, to take the responsibility of the lessons that need to be learned. However, submission can and does occur in every day social circles where people may not recognize what it represents. Submission can take on forms such as helping; nurses, doctors, mental health practitioners for example, or service; customer service, creators, artists, and even police officers, firefighters and emts. Many professions can fulfill a submissive desire if one is open-minded enough to search it out.
In a relationship, submission can
also take many forms. For me personally,
I am mostly a sexual submissive in my primary relationship. Therefore, my SO (D in training) takes on
leadership and control in sexual situations.
However, there are times when he can remind me of my submission in
simple, yet effective, ways. Just the
other day we spoke about a common gesture that he does without thinking that puts
me in a submissive headspace nearly immediately. Whenever I am driving and he is in the
passenger seat of the car, he tends to grab the back of my neck. Sometimes it just sits there, while other
times he may massage or squeeze gently.
In the instances when we are alone, it works very quickly. However, I realized only recently that it
does not have the same effect when any of our children are in the car with
us. I choose to compartmentalize my
submission. And while I embody many
submissive mannerisms around my children, such as taking care of them, or
helping them in some way, I just do not feel the same way, so for me it is
different enough. I am always searching
for ways to expand my submission. This
blog/website is part of that desire.
There also does NOT exist one type
of submissive, as I have met and talked to individuals from many different
backgrounds and personalities that embrace submission as a large part of their
identity. For me though there seems to
be a few constants. First, being an underlying
need for at least one deep connection.
Some submissives may take time to trust another, but once they do, that
trust goes to the core of their being.
Another unfortunate, but seemingly universal trait is self-deprecation
in some form. I do not mean this in a
bad way, but all submissives I have spoken with are just too hard on
themselves, myself included. Sure, I try
to be self-confident and fight what I refer to as my mental demons, but most
individuals have that nagging voice of doubt, somewhere. Except maybe
psychopathic and narcissistic individuals, but that is a whole other issue.
What other ways do you define
submission? Are there universal traits
to submissives? What do you think?
The topic for this post was provided as part of LovingBDSM’s 30 days of D/s, which can be found here. if you would like to join in, check them out. If not, still check them out, they are great people doing great things for the D/s Community and so much more.
As always, thanks for stopping by – raxleanne