Where it all began…

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Journey back with me … almost 18 years old and I met a man, significantly older than I, while working at McDonald’s of all places. The way he spoke to me, sent shocks down to my core. My inexperienced immature mind had no idea what it meant. Over the course of a couple weeks, as my birthday approached, he made simple comments that I found myself spending hours upon hours hitting repeat in my head. With less than a week left til the big day, he walked straight up to me and asked me if I wanted to know how a woman is supposed to feel!! Stunned silent, I know I turned 10 shades of red, I retreated into my work and tried to avoid his glances as he ate his damn Big Mac, minus pickle and onion (24 years later and I can still remember that geez!)


Finally, I got up the nerve to walk over and ask him what he meant. He simply said, “I want to show you pleasure you have never imagined. Consider it a birthday present.” I was astounded, I had never heard anyone talk so bluntly about pleasure in such a way. I felt my knees give way and my temperature rise. Right before he left he handed me a piece of paper with his phone number on it. Below the number said, ” I would like you to come to my house at 5 pm on Saturday,” my birthday. He walked out, without waiting for any response.

My mind spent the next days fantasizing, fretting, and trying to comprehend what in the hell he could possibly mean. I wasn’t a virgin, I had a couple of boyfriends through high school, but there was a marked difference between those boys and this man. I had no idea what I was going to do.

When Saturday arrived, I cautiously decided that I had to know. I showed up at his house at exactly 5pm; stood on the porch with my hand frozen over the doorbell for what seemed like forever. I was startled when he opened the door and simply said please come in. Over the next few hours, I was introduced to pleasure that my young mind could not even comprehend. Waves of orgasms reached every cell. I had no idea it was even possible to feel this way. What a way to celebrate turning 18!!

Now, while I can still close my eyes and be reminded of those moments, what stands out more than anything else was his voice. Every movement was careful and calculated. Every stroke, kiss, or even a brush of a hand was proceeded by questions such as “Do you want me to do this?” or “Is this ok?” And at the times when my mind and body seemed completely overwhelmed, he continued to question if I wanted to proceed.

That first night I had no understanding of what everything really meant. Over the course of the next few months we would spend a significant amount of time together. We talked about likes and dislikes, wants and fantasies. He helped me to open up my mind to the idea that sex can be a very positive and pleasurable thing. In stark contrast to the idea of sex as simply a wifely duty that it had seemed in relationships I had seen.

Years later, as I began to understand what kink and BDSM was, I quickly realized that although we had not used any specific titles, regular protocols, or any of the stereotypical things associated with them, what we had was very much a Dominant and submissive relationship. One I will be forever grateful for as sex, kink, BDSM, and all the other yumminess has so much potential.

Now I think I may need a cold shower!!

Hope you enjoyed this little bit of my past, hit that subscribe button to make sure that you get notified of any new content.


Thanks for being here! -raxleanne

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